In hindsight the decision to quit your job is obvious, but as I mentioned in Part 1 of this two part series, for a few months I was like the cat in the adage, “letting dare not wait upon I would.”

Making a decision about what to do with 40+ hours of your weekly life is important. It’s the largest chunk of time you spend on any one activity (outside of sleep hopefully!). It determines your lifestyle, the kind of opportunities that come up, the size of your bank account, the skills you acquire, perhaps the impact you have on the world. Not to mention that, for most of us, our work is a/the major driver of our identity (we can discuss how healthy that is another time).

Given work’s central importance, decisions about it warrant hyper-rational evaluation, right? Thus late nights pouring over risk assessment spreadsheets. But there was something surprising that kept happening as I was making my decision to quit: all these, like, feelings kept bubbling up!

Making a complex life choice like whether or not to leave your job involves so many unknowns and variables. It can feel like you don’t have adequate tools to make the decision. Fortunately, nature has built in a phenomenal tool right into our system: the “gut"!

The more I thought about quitting, the more I began to notice that the words and feelings I associated with quitting were generally positive: freedom, elation, confidence, excitement, vitality, mindfulness, vigor. Of course there was also some anxiety, concern and unease there too. But ultimately I would say those feelings fit under a giant happy umbrella of curiosity.

When I thought of staying at my job the words and emotions I had were: security, fear, toughness, doing the smart thing even if it wasn’t what I wanted, lack of confidence in myself, boredom.

It’s not so much that I needed to listen to each individual emotion - that would have been a rollercoaster. It was better to get a feel for the character of the various emotions associated with each option. The emotions that I associated with leaving were positive. They reflected the values that I aspire to live by: confidence, freedom, not worrying too much about outcomes, etc.. Staying in the job engendered feelings that were exactly the opposite of the way I say I want to live my life.

My gut turned out to be a good regulator for my values. When you’re not doing things which are aligned with your values your gut, your body, your feelings, your emotions will usually speak up. And that is a great thing. Surely an evolutionary biologist could explain why. All I know is that it works.

I don’t often like listening to my feelings. A side of me believes it’s imprudent and impulsive. If reason is what makes us human, why would I give myself over to my animal nature. And apparently I’m not alone.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

According to Bronnie Ware, an Australian hospice nurse who wrote a book called "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”, three of the top five regrets pertain to ignoring feelings or emotions:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
3. I wish I had let myself be happier.

Many people refuse to listen to their emotions and most go on to regret it.

So by all means make your spreadsheet. But don’t forget to stop and listen to your gut while you’re doing so.